Going Through the Motions
by InfinitelyInfinite
Summary: This takes place in their junior year at WMHS, and doesn't really have a direct correlation to the show from that point. It will deal with abuse, and a relationship between Quinn and Rachel (Faberry). I'm not sure about the M rating, but I put it as that, just in case. It is a story told from different points of view (I think I'll stick to Quinn's and Rachel's).


**Author's Note** - Hello, All. This is my first piece here, and the format of the site kind of confuses me, but I'll try to understand it. I really like making stories in my head, often starring characters from my favorite fictions, so I thought I'd finally try my hand at actually writing them down. As a note, I am currently on the field (for biological/ecological research), and thus I do not know when I will have an internet connection. Be that as it may, I shall continue to write and post when I can. Also, I recently had to re...boot my computer, so I do not really have any files or programs on my laptop, so I am writing this in "Wordpad." That means I don't have automatic spell check, and have to read through my writings multiple times to catch little errors here and there. So, if you see something that is not up to snuff, I am sorry. I'm not sure I would have the time to fix it though, since I have limited time on the web. That probably means I won't be able to reply to people often (assuming people comment on my works). Nonetheless, I shall try to do so, and will definitely try to get around to it after I come back home (I'm doing field research for about two months, so at the end of July). Besides, it would be "cool" to find like-minded "friends" here. As another note, I am still pretty new to the "fan fiction world lingo." I get bits and pieces from friends who are more into it, but I am a simple (complex? Ha.) person living in my own odd, wonky world (with a splash of whimsy), and such things confuse me. I hope you like what I write. I am in...strange, reflective moods, often, so that might peek through in my posts. I'm not sure that's a good thing, haha. Either way, so long! Farewell! Enjoy (if you find it in yourself to do so!)!

Am I supposed to put a disclaimer? Does me writing a little diddly even work? Or do people just do it because everybody else does it? It kind of seems like the time people thought posting a privacy statement on Facebook would protect their data. Anyway, if so, consider it done. I obviously don't own Glee or its characters. Bam.

**A.N.2** - So, I intended on putting this up as my first post yesterday (4, June 2013), because we were going into town to use the wifi at a diner, but my computer overheated in my backpack whilst on the field, so it had no battery left. *sigh* We are going into town soon (7, June 2013) after surveying some sites, so hopefully I can post then! Maybe I'll get a chapter done in the mean time.

GFF

Part 1

-Quinn's POV-

It's that time of year again. School. I used to actually like the end of summer, the start of fall. Notebooks. Pens. Loose-leaf paper. Binders. Sticky notes. Highlighters. Backpacks. New clothing. A fresh start.

Not anymore.

I mean, what the heck is there for me to be happy about? Entering into the same droll, mindless, fu-no. Nope. I am not going to dwell. Except that I am. Because tomorrow is the first day of my junior year, and my pre-babygate jeans actually fit me again, and everything is prepared for tomorrow, like nothing ever happened, but I just can't help the gnawing, aching, makes-me-want-to-claw-at-my-chest feeling that just won't go away. I'm restless. Upset. Depressed. So tired.

...Alone.

And there's no one to help me quell my anger, my fear. And there's no one to tell me "it's okay," or ask about my day and how I'm feeling and actually want to know the real answer. And I've been waiting-oh I've been waiting. I have so many secrets-so many lies-and I just want to stand up on the table in "Sue's Corner," and proclaim it all to the world (or...anybody who watches Lima's local news network show). But I can't. Because I'm Quinn Fabray. And, I just...can't. Because...well, I don't really know why.

I can't, I don't know why, and it hurts. Hurts. It's so unbearably painful. Sometimes it feels like I can't breathe, like the walls are collapsing all around me, and I'm helpless to it all, except to watch everything crumble down into a dark, lonely abyss.

Where are you? Who are you? All my life I've been searching for you, actively or not. Afraid that I missed you amongst the writhing masses. The person. My person. My "Monica." My clan. My kindred, my kind, my friend...my lover? No. That's not even important. My companion. I seek companionship. Closeness. Comfortable intimacy. But I just feel...cold. My calls, my cries out into the "ether" remain unanswered. I just want...someone. Someone to be there.

Especially when it hurts. Especially when it really hurts. Like tonight. There have been too many "tonights."

I wake up to my alarm clock softly playing the radio, voices blurring together in the background, as the co-hosts banter on. I slowly sit up, wincing as my muscles tug at certain...tender spots of my body, testament to my father's late-night punishment. I deserved it though. I always deserve it.

I stiffly shuffle over to the bathroom connected to my room and start my shower. As I step into the tub, soothing water cascades down my body, and I let my self relax into it's constant pressure. The pounding in my head slightly eases.

After getting ready I quietly head downstairs, swipe my lunch, along with some granola and a banana, and head out to my car. I skip my morning run to avoid the risk of further injury, or perhaps to escape of the _literally_ painful reminder of my shortcomings, and opt to drive around as I eat my breakfast.  
It's early, and not many cars are on the road. I spot someone familiar on the sidewalk slowly heading towards school: Rachel Berry. Huh. I don't know what it is that compels me, but I stop by her and roll down my window. "Hey, Berry." She stops and looks in. A look of mild shock and surprise ripples across her face.

"Hi...Quinn. To what do I owe the pleasure?" She says unsuredly.

"Um, I was just wondering why you were walking to school...and if you wanted a ride..."

"Well, Dad and Daddy unfortunately had early mornings at work today, and-wait. Did you just offer me a ride?" Rachel asks, this time somewhat incredulously.

"Yeah...? I was just trying to be nice, yeesh. Nevermind..."

"Wait! No! I'd-I'd love a ride to school from you, Quinn."

"...Ooookay. Hop in, I guess." Rachel grins and quickly enters the car. A warm, tingling, foreign, yet not uncomfortable feeling spreads from the pit of my chest. I ignore it and try to shake it off. It doesn't really go away.

Rachel clears her throat. I look over. "So, how was your summer, Quinn? You look great."

How was my summer? "Fine. Yours?" Everything's always fine.

"It was great! I, of course, kept up my singing and dancing exercises. And..." Rachel goes on, and I try to listen, but my headache has come back, and my ribs have started to throb again. I should've taken the bottle of Tylenol to school today.

Rachel finishes, and silence fills the car once more. "Cool... Would you like some granola?" I glance at the cup holders, indicating the bag of said granola.

"Oh! Um, sure, thanks. It's, uh, vegan, right?"

"Of course. I wouldn't have offered it if it wasn't."

"Th-thank you." Rachel smiles and tastes the proffered food. "Mmm! This is really good" Where'd you get it?"

"I actually made it myself... You can have the bag if you'd like." Why am I being so nice all of a sudden? Whatever. I can barely think over the pounding in my head. Sweat starts accumulating on my forehead. I don't think Rachel notices-or, at least, she doesn't mention it.

"Thanks, again, Quinn. That's very kind of you. Maybe-maybe you could show me how you make it, sometime...?"

"Yeah, maybe," I state whilst pulling into a parking space. We both step out of the car. Rachel comes over to my side and reaches for my forearm. I flinch. She retracts.

"Thank you for the ride, Quinn," she says carefully.

"You're welcome... It was on my way, anyhow..."

"Well, thanks, regardless." I awkwardly shift on my feet, adjusting the strap on my bag so that my back doesn't ache as much. There's a slight ringing in my ears, and my vision grays for a second.

"Quinn...are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Rachel looks into my eyes. Or, more like looks into my eyes, trying to read my soul, or something. I blankly stare back, and she seems to give up. Yay.

We make our way into the building.

"I'm going to go into the choir room to practice before school starts. I'll probably see you in class," Rachel tells me, once we're inside.

"Right. Bye." I head over to my locker and place my belongings that I don't need in my first class and wipe my brow, before walking toward the nurse's office. I need some kind of pain relief-stat.

The first bell rings and I wonder when I closed my eyes. I groan lightly, and find that I fell asleep atop one of the beds in the nurse's office. I get up and hustle to the first class of the day. And so it begins...

GFF

Part 2

-Rachel's POV-

What a peculiar start to my morning. Quinn Fabray-The Quinn Fabray-gave me a ride to school, _offered_ me a ride to school! And, at first I didn't notice, but she didn't look...well, not that she isn't as beautiful as ever! Perhaps I was just seeing something that is not there, but I like to think that I have a kind of sense about such things.

Seconds before the bell to the first period of the school year, Quinn gracefully walks into the classroom (we have first hour together!) and glides into the remaining empty desk, which just so happens to be the one next to mine. She looks tired and closed. She doesn't look at me, and our teacher begins to lecture about rules, regulations, and the expectations of our AP U.S. History class for the next year-standard first-day fare.

Quinn starts making notes on her syllabus, at which point I realize I am staring , and quickly turn in my desk and follow in suit. The bell signaling the end of class finally rings, and as we all head to our lockers or next classes, I soon realize Quinn and I have the same second hour AP chemistry together! What luck! I've always been drawn to Quinn-for friendship, of course-and if this morning is any indicator, this could be our year! Much of the day goes like this, though Quinn is actually in some more challenging upper-level science and math courses than I. However, the day ends and I lose track of her. I head to the choir room for the first glee club meeting of the year. Surely, Quinn will be there.

- Quinn's POV -

I let Mr. Schuester know that I wouldn't be in glee club this afternoon; I have some coaches to see. I decided over the summer that I am done with the Cheerios and Coach Sylvester's crazy antics. But I want to stay busy, out of the house, so I need to take on a lot of extracurriculars, and I think I'll find that in sports. Coach Keith and Coach Sorenson were elated that I was interested in joining their teams, and were willing to set special schedules this season that would allow me to join both Keiths's cross country and Sorenson's soccer teams, along with glee. Some might think I'm crazy to try to do all of that, but it's like I said: I like to keep busy.

Still going over my new schedule in my head, I don't notice the short brunette heading in the same direction. When we collide, one of her limbs accidentally jab into my ribs on my way to the ground, and I hiss in pain, curling around my midsection.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you? Of course I hurt you, your on the ground in pain! Should I get the nurse? I'll-"

"Berry," I grind out, effectively stopping her rambling, "just-shhh... Give me a moment." Rachel silently hovers around me as the pain slowly dissipates to a dull, constant ache in my torso. I slowly get up, Rachel still hovering, and adjust my clothing.

"Quinn, really, I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going and-"

"Rachel. It's fine. Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure? Because you-"

"I'm fine," I state, and begin to walk to my car.

"Um..." Rachel says as she slowly follows. I stop and turn to her, eyebrow raised. "I'm sorry-I don't mean to impose, but, I, um, I-"

"Berry, just say what you want to say," I tell her, at this point, somewhat impatiently. I am exhausted, hungry, and in pain. I just want to pass out on my bed for a few hours, and then figure out what I want to eat.

"Oh, well, I was wondering if you could maybe, um, give me a ride home," Rachel says nervously.

Oh. Is that all? "Sure..."

"Thank you, Quinn!"

"Yeah... You're welcome." I unlock the doors. "Hop on in." Rachel happily plops in as I put my bag in the back, and get into the driver's seat.

The first few minutes are blissfully silent as I check out, driving on the sleepy streets of Lima, Ohio. This doesn't last long.

"So..."

"So...?" I spare a glance at Rachel.

"How was your first day?"

Ah. Conversation. Lovely. "It was fine."

"That's good, that's good..."

"And yours?"

"It was great! I noticed you weren't in glee, though."

"Yeah, I had to see some coaches."

"Oh, uh, are you re-joining the cheerios, then?"

"No," I state, not elaborating. We pull up to her house, and I stop my car in her driveway. "Well, we're here."

"Thank you, so much, for the ride, Quinn."

"You're welcome," I say, uncomfortably. I don't really know why I did it. I think I have gotten to the point where I just don't care anymore. Some things really aren't worth putting so much energy in; they simply aren't important. I was immature. I'm probably still immature. My apathy towards life, however, keeps me from doing much about it.

"I was wondering... Would you like to come inside? Watch a movie, maybe, eat some dinner? Dad and Daddy won't be back until late, and it's the first week-first day-of school, so we don't have any homework, and..." Rachel rambles.

I think about it. I mean, I am tired, but this means I won't have to stay in the wretched Fabray household, even if it is Berry...

"Sure."

"Wh-what?"

"Sure. I'll come over."

"Th-that's great! Let's go then!"

We get out of my car, and head in the Berry family home.


End file.
